i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
