I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize