i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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