you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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