Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
