you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
