I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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