Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
