If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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