I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
