True but thats because hes a fetus.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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