I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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