white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
