ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
