Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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