I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
