what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
True strength comes from lack of pants
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
