i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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