why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
