I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
