They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
