if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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