i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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