We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
