Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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