Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
