At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
