So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
