You're so nebulous sometimes
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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