hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
