Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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