chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
