Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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