If i come over, it means nothing
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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