Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
