you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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