So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
