If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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