you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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