So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
