my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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