and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
