if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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