Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just tell him i said nine months
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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