its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
