i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
