I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
