god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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