I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
