I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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