Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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