so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize