Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We need to get me chipped asap
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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