Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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