i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
