absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit