OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did