Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize