so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
