do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
