so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
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I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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