party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
