I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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