oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize