absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
