If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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