I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
