he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
