some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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