$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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